Saturday, August 15, 2015

Surreal

I sometimes joke with my friends about grown-up life. How did we get here? Why didn't anyone tell us that it would be this hard? In so many ways, each phase of my life has been harder than the last. On the flip side, each phase of my life has brought me closer to God, more happiness and personal growth than I could have imagined, and abundant cherished memories. Is this really happening? 

Today, I sat in the home that we own with my husband and baby. As I fed my daughter, I looked around at OUR home- a place we can truly make our own. I chatted with my husband, who had (unbeknownst to me) been working on the little things I love so much- making our bed, folding and sorting laundry, cleaning the cat litter. The things that seem mundane but become the rhythm of our lives. 

I thought to myself, how did I get here? Look at all my recent major life changes. New place, marriage, new job, bought a house, had a baby, all within a year. It's been a whirlwind! 

How fortunate am I for the path that was laid to allow me to meet my hubby, find a job, and have this baby in our new hometown? We were able to bring our daughter to a house where we don't have to worry about the lease expiring. We're able to personalize and decorate her room just as we'd like. It's all surreal today. Today, I thought for awhile that it's just like pretending. Pretending to have it all together. Pretending to be an adult. Pretending to be a homeowner, a wife. And then I looked at my daughter, and I knew. These surreal moments? They are absolutely, perfectly real. The laughter, the tears, the screams, and the heart warming smiles and sounds. Those. Those are what's real, and if that's real, then all the rest must be as well. My surreal is no longer pretend. I am all of those things I used to feel I was acting. Now I know. We have this bundle of joy, and she has blessed us and taught us that this real, hard life we live is so full of gifts. I need to slow down and enjoy every moment of my gifts. Here's to the next grew moments, and to make them worthy of remembering. Here's to modeling faith, hope, and most importantly love of all kinds to the world around me. 

I plan to soak it all in. Every last little shoulder roll. 😍