Thursday, February 20, 2014

If I were a superhero....

After our study of elements and discovering Krypton, we talked about superheroes in a writing assignment. In our dialogue to generate ideas, I was able to observe this converstaion:

Student: I want to make myself invisible. If I don't have Harry Potter's cloak, what element would I need?

His neighbor: You wouldn't. You could just poke your eyes out.

Student: Then I wouldn't be able to see anybody else.

Neighbor: Exactly: And they couldn't see you.

Student: I think they'd just feel sorry for the kid with no eyes...

Monday, February 3, 2014

"She's got it all together...."

One of the sentences I most dread hearing about myself is, "oh, but you've got it all together." It's meant as a compliment, but most of the time, I feel like a frazzled, crazy lady running around in a thousand directions trying to accomplish the pages and pages of to-do lists.  I don't feel like I have it all together.  Generally, I have to bite my tongue not to lash out at the person trying to encourage me, and remind myself to keep it in perspective. They see what I'm doing and think I'm doing it well. It would be inappropriate for me to say something like, "Are you nuts?!?!  I'm going bonkers over here. I can barely function and the only reason I'm still going is caffeine and adrenaline."

Like many teachers, I teach my regular classes.  I differentiate based on ability and interest, and include cultural references, study up so I can teach cross-curricular material, etc.  I teach a pull out class of gifted and talented kids that is full of interested kids who are PUMPED UP about learning, which is so much fun and so challenging for me as a teacher to keep them pushing forward.  I coach multiple teams, I volunteer to help out, do sporting events, am a girlfriend, play mom to my roommate's children, cook and clean, and make my life look acceptable for someone who has a role such as "teacher." I am a model of what we often tell children that they should become. I work hard, I take care of my life, I am happy, and I give back. 

Some days, when I feel frenzied inside (and sometimes look it externally) I wonder if it's all really worth it. Should we push kids to this? I read that my generation will literally fall apart. We run our minds and bodies constantly. Many people in my generation have already been through multiple careers, divorce, etc. How transparent should I be with the next generation? Should I tell them that sometimes being a grown up just isn't all it's cracked up to be? That sometimes it really, truly stinks??? 

Don't get me wrong- most days, I absolutely love my life.  I love to be busy.  I love knowing that I am making a difference, even if just a teeny tiny one.

This post has been saved as a draft for awhile.  Yesterday, the sermon at our church was fantastically appropriate to this post and had me making a mental note to pull this draft out and revisit it.  Our message was on labels, or # hashtags.  What labels do we put on ourselves? What labels do we allow others to put on us? What labels should we be proudly owning?? 

For me, I want this label: #transparent.  I want to be transparent in my imperfections. I want people to know that I'm not perfect, and I shouldn't be expected to be. I don't have it all together, and I probably never will. Honestly? I think he moment I feel like I have it all together is the moment I will stop trusting God's will first and my life will begin to fall apart until I am reminded who is in control -- and more importantly, that I DONT have to be in control.  Like every other human being, I am imperfect. Yes, I strive to be more like the ONLY perfect person, Jesus. I'd like to be transparent in my relationships and in my small groups. I am changing constantly, as is the world around us. I can only hope that my transparency, my honesty, will be enough to help me continually change for the better.

How would you label yourself? What labels would you like for others to see in you?