Thursday, April 26, 2012

Innuendo

I wish I were DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.  I just figured I'd start with some science humor in the arena of this post's topic. :)  I'm really struggling with innuendo this week.  Or this month, or every time I speak in a room full of middle schoolers, even the girls.  Their hormones are definitely raging! I can't seem to go an entire class without needing to go ahead and just shove my foot in my mouth to stop the series of innuendos and double entendres as I hurriedly attempt to fix whatever comment I said that has them giggling.

Fact : Middle schoolers are perverted.

Fact : Middle school teachers, almost by necessity, have to be able to keep their minds in the gutter and think like a 14 year old boy.

Fact : I think I'm generally pretty good at this , but the kids, particularly the 8th grade boys I teach , catch me saying "dirty" things all the time.


Obviously, the middle school boys take the perversion cake.  In fact, I'm relatively certain that my last period class made the boy version of a pregnancy pact -- a plan in which they tortured me with every sexual innuendo and ridiculously inappropriate comment and/ or sexual behavior they think they can get away with.

On the plus side, urban dictionary is teaching me some new vocabulary words.  I'm blushing beet red less frequently when I hear things like, "Ms. G, I'm about to pull a big *insert male anatomy word of your choice* out right now" and also getting better about not screaming in disgust, and just removing the student from my classroom and sending them on to the police officer or AP, whoever's closest.

Today, I asked one of my students if he wanted to "go out" by which I meant, "are you TRYING to get kicked out of class and earn yourself a nice little referral right before you have to go to court????"  He took it and ran with it, and I'm pretty sure he was the only one in the class that made this bridge in his head because the rest of us seemed to take a few seconds to catch up.  He proceeded to ask me if I was really going to ask him out in front of the class, etc. so gross!!!! 

Random side note: pictures of middle school shenanigans

 Remember when I said they've broken a lot of stress balls? Yeah, that's one of them.....apparently it makes a good clown nose when they're testing.  I was walking the rows and literally LOL'ed when he pulled that maneuver. :)
Teaching the class.  It's always so funny to see some of my behaviors and hear my voice inflections with the things I do and say routinely.  And, I really really really really really love when they do a good job with things like this.  It makes me so proud!

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