Monday, April 23, 2012

How we Survive

I know I've mentioned that 2012 hasn't exactly been a casual stroll in the park for me.  There are still (and I'm sure there always will be) things in my life that aren't as perfect as a Type-A personality like me could hope.  This past couple weeks, I've been shaken to my core.  As I continue my "adult" journey, I get the pleasure?? of experiencing new challenges (and triumphs!)  As I was lying in my bed wondering how to get through it, and as I've reflected on the difficulties that each day brings, I thought about the miracle that we are able to survive when God reminds us exactly who's in control.  No offense to any of you men out there, but we women are some exceptionally strong people.

We can survive.  So what do we do?  We cry when we're alone, and sometimes when we're not.  We avert our eyes when there are painful things in our line of vision.  We quickly change the channel on the TV or the radio when something threatens to knock us off-balance again.  We walk away when someone has a conversation we can't handle at that moment.  We force life to go on.  We look at the great outdoors and know that the world continues to turn.  We avoid the pitying expressions.  We pray.  We scream.  We change the subject.  We try our hardest to pretend everything is normal even though it's horribly abnormal. We throw ourselves into something- work, school, exercise, all of the above.  We bathe and try to sleep regularly.  We try to restore routine and maintain focus so that grief doesn't swallow us whole.  We know that some moments, hours, and days are okay, and the next might be the complete opposite.  We downplay the effects to reduce pity.  One of our most important survival tricks as a woman is to put on obscene amounts of non-waterproof mascara and remind ourselves that if we cry, the makeup will run.  We crave time alone.  We crave time with cherished friends and family.  We play the avoiding game.  I've had the opportunity to do all of these things, and probably many more.  Most importantly, the mascara.  Lots and lots and lots of mascara.


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