Tuesday, May 24, 2011

3 Girls, 3 Cats

Normally in my apartment, there are two girls and three cats (2 male and one female), with the occasional male visitor.  Now, this may seem like a lot of kittens, but most of the time, it doesn't feel like a lot.  They're really quite entertaining, and they're great for keeping your toes warm when they get cold on those wonderful days in May when it's 45 degrees.  Oh, South Carolina, I miss the 90+ degrees of your usual May.  (Do I need to pack my parka for my summer trip to New York?)  They're also great conversation fodder, and a beyond wonderful outlet for when we come home from the ridiculous events and activities of our daily lives.

So for a little while this summer, our dear friend Hannah is staying with us. (Girl #3)  Unfortunately, she has the privileged choice of sleeping on the couch, the air mattress, or the futon in the living room.  Bless her heart.  It certainly can't be the ideal situation.  Since she started staying with us mid last week, we've had quite the fun times. 

Example #1-
Night 2. Cue interview preparation for two of us, plus planning and gearing up for family reunions.  We're all a little slap happy.  Hannah has a full glass of real, pulpy limeade in between her legs, and her computer in her lap.  She decides it's time for a shower.  Guess what she forgot?  Oh yeah, the completely full glass of sticky, gross limeade.  It made a puddle in her shorts, soaked the snuggie in her lap, the couch, and the carpet.  The other two of us? We're probably awful friends, but we grabbed rags and Resolve, and just cackled away as we cleaned.  When Hannah got out of the shower?  She informed us that she still had limeade pulp stuck to her legs. Gross.

Example #2-
Hannah got a job! YAYYYYY! We're so proud of her!  So proud, in fact, that we took her out to dinner last night to celebrate.  We went to Applebee's because she's been raving about Bee's Teas and they have all day happy hour.  We figured, for three bucks, why not try it?  So we met a couple of friends for dinner (after shopping and having great girl time).  We were all a little thirsty, oops.  So before dinner came, we'd all made significant dents in our gigantic but admittedly very tasty Bee's Teas.  You'd never have known there was alcohol in it.  Our newly employed friend got a little tipsy, and boy was the conversation entertaining.  I mean, who doesn't love a good, sweet person saying, "I can't feel my nose," pointing for it, and hitting mid cheek? 

Example #3-
Remember Nancy, the human body mannequin?  She had another adventure yesterday/ last night.  Background: I'm packing up my classroom for the summer.  Nancy obviously has to come with me.  Since she's the size and shape of a human body and I had a lot of boxes in the back seat and the trunk, the only logical place for Nancy to sit was in the front passenger seat.  I'll admit- she even startled me when I came up to my car at the end of the day, because it looked like someone was in there waiting for me. 

Now, picture yourself walking out of Example #2 with a group of friends that are already having a good time.  I made the casual comment, "Everybody say goodnight to Nancy!"  Well, as we approached the car, there was much confusion about Nancy being real or fake.  Then, they realized that I had a plastic bag over her "to hold all her parts in."  Apparently, that was inhumane of me.  Silly me, always forgetting that Nancy has feelings? Can you hear the sarcasm?  Anyway, Hannah decided to investigate whether Nancy was male or female.  She didn't believe that Nancy had girl parts.  So, she decided to do a little investigating.  Needless to say, Hannah ended up with a large handful of overflowing female reproductive and excretory organs.  I laughed so hard I cried, then kept laughing as Hannah's reaction got more and more outrageous until I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.

Example #4-
Background: Artie (my kitten, aka Little Man) and I were home by ourselves for a pretty good portion of last weekend. 
Scene: We're all reuniting and talking about our weekends.  Artie, being the man that he is, reached out and swatted Hannah's boob.  Annnnd he got his claw stuck.  It was hysterical!  I mean, I don't know who could blame him.  She has an absolutely gorgeous figure.

Anyway, I'm loving the visit.

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